Walking in Delight

My Father my true love, the one that all my joy is from, I love you, your majesty is beyond comprehension. Father keep my joy only based on you, no matter my circumstance. Keep reminding me to simply dance with you, when I’m with you I just want to jump and spin and laugh and rejoice. Father you are my hearts desire, keep all distractions away from me. I want to live my life only focused on you, a distracted life is a sinful life and you are my Lord so I can have no other masters. I know what life without you is like, I know what a distracted life brings and all it is, is hurt, brokenness, fear and a distaste for community. It’s the opposite of you and it’s death, Father lead me away from temptation and deliver me from evil. Never let me fall into the ways of the world again, let me see you right. L

 

Alright! Hey guys sorry it’s been awhile, but I just wanted to finally give some things that have happened lately. So I was in South Africa for the last two months and I’m now in Ecuador. South Africa, oh what a time, I’ll be honest it was a time of hardship and brokenness. To put it simply, I wasn’t living how I should have been or I how I wanted to. Looking back, it was probably the furthest I’ve been from my father in a few years. The wild thing is that somehow I think it was the best thing for me.

 

Let me explain, I took on the view of I can do it, I know a decent amount of the word, so I can share it, especially since everyone is speaking English. My ministry is simply manual labor, and I’ve done that my whole life so I can do that as well. Basically I decided that I could do this without the Father. Oh goodness, Father thank you for your grace, because you let me fall. So for a month at least, I fell into anger, confusion, a lack of forgiveness and a lack of pursuit for my squad and my God! A little while ago, I asked  God why this happen, what was the purpose? Whenever I asked this question I hear the word pride. I hear, “you decided to make our relationship optional. Your pride made you think you could do it without me.” This brought me to the realization that the way my relationship works with the father was completely wrong, and the only way it truly works is when I realize this. I don’t know what I’m doing, I am weak, I am wretched, nothing good can from me except through him, I am in complete lack without him. Father all that I am is yours, I want to be your broken vessel. 

 

If I don’t seek him first everywhere I go, than my life isn’t just, not as good, it is completely forfeit. Without abiding with the father in everyplace and every circumstance than I am no use to the kingdom. I have to enter everything saying father I don’t know how to do this, If I do it in my own strength I will fall, I have seen it happen and I know it will happen again without you. Father thank for using my brokenness to you show me more of your fullness and to show me my complete lack. Father my pride must be broken for me to live in your fullness, so if more brokenness is to come, than I will rejoice because I know what you have on the other side.

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.” Psalms? ?51:17

 

This is the way I am trying to walk in Ecuador, and wow is it beautiful, he is beautiful! I have a hard time not crying when I think of how good he is. He has shown me the beauty of delighting in him. Every morning, I wake up and say hey Father, I don’t know how to walk through this day, but I know you do so lead me. Show me how to delight in you more today, because I want to know more of you and see more of you. Everyday he shows me, and I literally don’t know how to explain, but simply joy has overcome me. 

 

The other day Me and my teammates Josiah, Phil, Will were all set on a task last week to dig a trench about waist deep, 4 feet wide and about 20 feet long. At first I was like dang okay this day may not be the best but father I’ll lean on you. Wow, through the father it was literally one of my favorite days of the Race. I wish I could tell you all the reasons why, but still I myself am wondering why, all I can say is, it’s him! Learning to walk in delight with the father is probably my favorite journey I have ever been on with him. His fullness is abundant and his majesty is never ending, he never fails and he always loves more than I ever could!

 

In the midst of brokenness and in the realization of my lack, there is something that is brought up, that is a complete longing for God! That is my only explanation for the joy that I have found in Him. He let me brake so that I could see him right and delight in him.

“Delight yourself in the Lord.” Psalm 37:4 

 

Father I love you, you are my delight all I want is to know you more. Thank you for always being faithful even when I am not. Thank you that I can always trust and have faith in you above all else, when all else fails you never do, you are my stronghold and my safe place. Thank you for being Holy in every place and in every moment. Amen